Did Monti Send Lily to Me?

Did Monti send Lily to me? That is a question that I have been mulling over for a few weeks now. Actually, since she was a kitten, and soon to be a foster fail, I have thought there was something familiar about her. Some of the things that she does definitely reminds me of Monti. Cute, little quirks. Now, I don’t necessarily believe that she is Monti reincarnated, not that I don’t believe in animal reincarnation. I just don’t think she IS Monti. What I do wonder is if Monti sent her to me. The more I think about it, the more I believe that is exactly what happened.

Grief Support Lily

Last week I wrote about how I have finally been able to start releasing the guilt that I have been dealing with for almost 2 years. The guilt that I held onto tightly over Monti’s passing. I have made great strides with acknowledging and releasing that guilt over the past few months. It was very difficult to look within and find that grief covered guilt and start working on it. However, I as I look back in retrospection, I realize that only had a little black quirky kitten around me when I needed her the most. Somehow, Lily always knew when I needed a distraction. When I needed a funny moment to balance out the sadness that I was going through.

Since last Thursday, Facebook memories has been reminding me daily of my final days with my Monti Boi. I have noticed that these memories do not bring the level of deep-rooted guilt that they did a year ago. Some bittersweet moments, yes, but not the immense guilt and sadness that they once did. Through looking back at these photos and videos of Monti, I have noticed some similarities between Monti and Lily. Monti had a very unique meow, and very vocal with it. We would have conversations. Lily has a very unique meow and is also very vocal. She loves to have conversations with me. She will stare at me until I say her name just so she can respond back. It makes me think of Monti and puts a smile on my face and heart.

Monti’s Gift

So, yes, I believe that Monti sent Lily to me. It had been over 6 months since Monti transitioned that I trapped Lily and her sister, Cactus. They were only going to be fosters. But I instantly felt a pull towards Lily. Yes, she is black, and we all know my weakness for black cats, but this was different. It was like she was home. Finally stopped resisting the inevitable and “foster failed” Lily and her sister. And that has quite possible been the best decision I have made in a long time. We definitely didn’t need another cat, let alone 2 kittens. But everything about it felt right. Lily has been one of the main reasons that I have been able to release the guilt about Monti. Monti knew that. He knew that I was going to need a special little black baby girl kitten with big copper eyes and a unique meow to bring joy and happiness into my life to balance out the sadness that I was feeling. Monti was a very wise old soul in a 4-year-old cat body and I am so grateful for the gift he sent me.

“What greater gift than the love of a cat?” – Charles Dickens